So…we have this incredibly cute IT guy who comes around to the office every two weeks or so. Today when he left I had that totally childish feeling of “please don’t go!”. Me being the casual bunny that I am…I called his office to get his cell number. All cool and collected. Just a customer with a question. The secretary on the other end of the line then says:”He’s just walked in. Here is…” and blugh. Not the plan at all! You know when a plan goes awfully wrong and you feel yourself blushing right down into your breasts? Well… I could have died. Smooth and casual my ass! I felt like a total moron PLUS now I feel guilty for non-casually hitting on a guy when I have a boyfriend. I don’t necessarily want to copulate with the man…. I would just like him in my life. Is that cheating? I feel guilty enough. And on a lighter note…TGIF!! Let’s go put Barbie on the barbeque!
Category Archives: Romance
Dear Casanova
Dear ex-boyfriend, Casanova, boy who made me cry
Just a little note to let you know that I finally get why you are not a bad person or a f*cknut or all the other colourful words I chose to call you when I’m hurting. The fact that you led me on does not make you a bad person, nor that you vanished into thin air. It just makes you a messed up, complicated person like everybody else who choses to run instead of stay and find out. I’d like you to know that I won’t be mad at you forever and I won’t likely cry about you again, but that I really did care about you and think you were too gorgeous for words. I’m will occasionally think of you and fantasize and wish you were a bit les guarded and had a bit more guts. I’ll still miss your stimulating company, your delicious body and bizarre sense of humour. I’ll probably still call you an ass from time to time, just until I feel a bit less inadequate and hurt. But the grown up version of me knows you are still a stunning human being and one I’ll miss for a while. Thank you for the wonderful moments and for making me feel highly desirable at times. Stunning , in fact. I really hope and pray that you find somebody who will put up with your shit long enough for you to learn to trust her and that you’ll actually believe in love above freedom one day. You have a lot to give and some woman is going to make you very happy. I wish I could be the one who sticks around despite how crap you treat them so that I could reap the benefit of breaking though your huge walls. I am perhaps strong, loyal and determined enough, but I won’t gamble with my sanity or self-esteem any more. I choose me. Now go climb out of your man cave and choose you too. Much love, the one that got away x
Casanova’s Mistress Box
It was after a discussion with my best friend (who we shall call Boemps) over skype that I got to recap my adventurous – is that the word?- love life over the last year or so. The Ex, the Virgo (if you follow the blog I’m sure you’ve met him) and the Phantom. Those are the ones I’ll mention for now…
The last one was the final straw…(where have I heard that before?) and the one that has finally triggered the question of why it is that I am attracted to these un-keepable figures. I don’t have the answer just yet but finally know what they are. They are the modern-day Casanova. I am the average girl on the street who falls for their charms. Wow…average is such a undesirable word.
After much deliberation my various personalities and I have finally found the title for my current “box”. What we’ll do now that we know we are in the box is unclear. Making it up as I go…
Vir jou
(Note 2011/10/24: This guy turned out to be an A-class ass. He was engaged, messed up our company and reminds me daily that I trust too easily. nonetheless…at the time I’d put this on the blog for him.)
And in your eyes I see ribbons of color
I see us inside of each other
I feel my unconscious merge with yours
And I hear a voice say, “What’s his is hers”
I’m falling into you (falling into you)
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you
I was afraid to let you in here
Now I have learned love can’t be made in to fear
The walls begin to tumble down
And I can’t even see the ground
I’m falling into you (falling into you)
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you
Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are
Catch me, don’t let me drop!
Love me, don’t ever stop!
So close your eyes and let me kiss you
And while you sleep I will miss you
Oh I’m falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you
Falling like a leaf, falling like a star, oh
Finding a belief, falling where you are
Falling into you
Falling into you
Falling into you
A revisit with the Virgo…addictive buggar
Artist: Alice Cooper Lyrics
Your cruel device
Your blood, like ice
One look could kill
My pain, your thrill
I want to love you but I better not touch (Don’t touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You’re poison running through my veins
You’re poison, I don’t want to break these chains
Your mouth, so hot
Your web, I’m caught
Your skin, so wet
Black lace on sweat
I hear you calling and it’s needles and pins (And pins)
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
Don’t want to touch you but you’re under my skin (Deep in)
I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison
You’re poison running through my veins
You’re poison, I don’t wanna break these chains
Poison
One look could kill
My pain, your thrill
I want to love you but I better not touch (Don’t touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You’re poison running through my veins
You’re poison, I don’t wanna break these chains
Poison
I want to love you but I better not touch (Don’t touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison, yeah
I don’t want to break these chains
Poison, oh no
Runnin’ deep inside my veins,
Burnin’ deep inside my veins
It’s poison
I don’t wanna break these chains
Poison
